"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander-in-chief playing golf," he said. "I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them."
My muse saw this yesterday and brought it to my attention by clanging two metal trashcan lids together very close to my ears. She did this until the hair on the back of my head stood up on its own. If your short on hair gel or mousse, might I suggest this as a stand-by lifter. Its hell on the ears, but, even after shampooing it three times since, the hair on the back of my head, between my bleeding ears, remains at full attention!
After my muse was going for her third clang I said,
‘YOU KNOW THAT AFTER THE FIRST TWO TIMES ANY FURTHER ‘CYMBAL’ CRASHING IS RATHER POINTLESS. I’M DEAF IN BOTH EARS, SO WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT FROM ME YOU’LL HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN IN YOUR NOTEPAD AND PUT IN FRONT OF MY FACE.’
To which she countered with somewhere around thirty further "cymbal" crashes! It could have been more. I mean I can’t really be sure since I had gone deaf in both ears already. I’m still a bit disoriented, like I’m in a deep well.
The following is what my muse wrote on a piece of paper and violently shoved in front of my face-
GEORGE BUSH, FUCK YOU! YOU ELITIST AND EVIL BASTARD! YOU ABSOLUTE INCOMPETENT, NO GOOD, IGNORANT, GODDAMNED RICH, LOWLIFE, SILVER SPOON-FED FOOL! FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLE! GO STRAIGHT TO HELL YOU PATHETIC, WORTHLESS, ILL-MANNERED, WARMONGERING SWINE! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! AND FUCK YOU!
I said, ‘I understand you’re angry, my dear, but I expected better from you. I did. I thought you’d have channeled your anger into a heartrending, earth-shattering, piercing poem or something like that...'
She furiously grabbed the notepad and began to write like she was possessed.
I stood aside and patiently waited. I passed the time by dabbing at the blood that trickled from my ears and marveling at my newly rendered coif.
It wasn’t long before she again shoved the notepad in front of my face-
-a poem titled "George's Gulf Handicap"-
YOU ELITIST AND EVIL BASTARD!
YOU ABSOLUTE BASSACKWARD,
NO GOOD, IGNORANT, GODDAMNED RICH,
LOWLIFE, SILVER SPOON-FED SONOFABITCH!
FUCK YOU, YOU FETID, ASS EATING WHORE!
GO STRAIGHT TO HELL
YOU PATHETIC, WORTHLESS TO THE CORE,
ILL-MANNERED, WARMONGERING SWINE!
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
AND FUCK YOU UNTIL THE END OF TIME!
She then began to cry uncontrollably.